that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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