Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
