and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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