Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
