New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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