I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
