what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
