My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
