Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
