Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
