I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
