I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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