its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize