I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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