dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
