He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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