i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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