I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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