I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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