i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
