is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
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