she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
