so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
