She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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