she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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