Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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