Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
