I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
