I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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