so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
