Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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