Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
