Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
