I cut my penus on the lid.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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