Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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