whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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