fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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