Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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