Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
