so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
