Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
