I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I still have a little drunk in my system
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
