The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
