i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
