I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
