I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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