It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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