she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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