It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
