How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
