Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
