I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
