Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Randomize
